And then I thought...

4.8.12

“Good things are coming our way.”
- Coldplay’s “Up With the Birds”

Happy Easter, everyone!

One of these years, I’ll be writing regularly again. Things have been crazy, but so much better than before. I’m now running MILES a day (unheard of!), I’m stronger, and friends are amazing. Still distracted, but there’s been a total shift in attitude… a positive one, that is!

Easter was lovely this year, it began with a run and 4.5-mile walk and then a drive from Hammond to good ol’ Houma. While I was visiting with my family, a thought passed through my head. I’ve spent so much time focused on school that I haven’t paid as much attention to my family. In fact, there are people I hadn’t seen in over a year there, and kids running around didn’t even recognize me. It’s amazing how fast time seems to be flying past now, but what can you do when school and work take over your life?

I vowed to keep in touch with more people, to avoid this from happening at this extreme… even if I have to write names down on sticky notes to remind me to keep in contact! There are too many people that I love to allow myself to get so caught up in other things that I go months without communication. Being busy is no longer an acceptable excuse. Time is passing, and there’s no stopping it.

I guess what it really boils down to is better time management.

So.

To get a start on that!

3.20.12

 ”Lift off this blindfold, let me see again.”
- Coldplay, “Us Against the World”

It’s been such a long time since I updated.  First post of the year!  Unfortunately, my world’s been flipped upside down, and I’m still picking up the pieces.  It’s been so tough, dealing with a tough breakup and the most stressful semester of my college career yet, but I’m managing.  If I didn’t have such supportive friends, I’d probably have had tons of breakdowns by now.

Amidst this craziness, I made some realizations and knew that I had to change myself for the better, but distractions set in… well, more like torture.  I spent a month being angry all the time, and became exhausted… I let it go… but then something else happened to make me angry again!  Now I let the anger go, but the pain remained.  I lost sight of my plan to heal.

I’ve been slowly healing, though.  I’ve been praying for clarity… and I’ve been running every day lately, which has been helping a great deal.  I look forward to exercising, for the first time in my life!  I weigh less than I ever did since I started college, and I spend time connecting to many amazing people.  Unfortunately, I can’t seem to focus in my studies… but that will come.  

I’ve been needing to write like crazy and be productive again… I’ve been a mess in the past couple of months.  And my area has been a huge mess as well.  I’ve been so unmotivated because I’ve been so focused on a situation that’s pretty much doomed.

I almost feel like I never want to be in another relationship again, after the hell I’ve been through lately.


But, I’ll heal.  Life will go on, and I will be stronger than ever.
 

In other news, I sang in an awesome opera… very proud of that production.  I think that was probably the best show SLU has ever put on, in all honesty.  Last semester’s show of Pirates of Penzance comes in a close 2nd.  I pushed back my recital until October, very excited for that performance.



I REALLY want to get back into writing again… writing like I used to. 

12.7.11

“In the early morning hour,
Just before dawn,
Lover and beloved wake
And take a drink of water.

She asks,
‘Do you love me or yourself more?
Really?
Tell the absolute truth.’

He says,
‘There’s nothing left of me.
I’m like a ruby held up to the sunrise.
Is it still a stone,
Or a world made of redness?
It has no resistance to sunlight.’

This is how the Lord said,
‘I am God’ and told the truth!

The ruby and the sunrise are one.” 
- Rumi 

12.3.11

“The moon… looks downward to find us,
 At rest in the hollows that rustle between.”
- Rudyard Kipling, “The Seal Lullaby”

It’s been a good minute.  The semester has flown by. Since Pirates and my cousin’s wedding (which I am currently re-recording music for as I type this), I immediately switched gears from imitating a mezzo-soprano to getting serious and starting up with my coloratura soprano repertoire.  I’ve performed one of the Queen of the Night arias for Recital Hour, NATS, and Magic Flute auditions, which landed me the role of the Queen.  Performances for that will be in March, and I’m SO excited to not have rehearsal until January!  My winter break will (almost) finally be a break… more time I can spend with my wonderful friends, family and amazing man. :) 

I’m so unfocused.  My academics are God-awful, I’m sure.  I’m starting to gain some of my weight back (but that started when I left for Disney World over Thanksgiving week)… but I’m so happy.  I’m happier than I’ve been in a very long time.  It’s Christmas time, I’m in love, and I feel motivated enough to conquer the world.  

Now, I just need to organize myself again. :) Then I CAN conquer the world.  So, to get a start on that…….. 

If You Forget Me

“I want you to know one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.”

- Pablo Neruda 

musicproblems:

submitted by: a-touch-of-the-poet

THIS THIS THIS THIS!! 

musicproblems:

Submitted by: piano-soprano

My biggest problem.  Ahhh!

musicproblems:

Submitted by: androseswerered

THIS.